Some of the conversations I have with my mother.
“But I don’t want to learn how to cook!”
“Who’s going to cook for you and your husband when you’re married. I certainly won’t be coming over and cooking for you.”
“We’ll order takeaways, it’ll be fine.”
“You can’t live off takeaways your entire life.”
“I’ll find someone who can cook.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, you’re a woman, you’ll have to cook.”
“You’re my mother, don’t you want me to find someone who can cook? At least we can split chores. I can learn later on.”
“No, you’ll need to do the cooking. Let me teach you now.”
“No! Why don’t you teach *insert brother’s name* to cook? You’re never on his case.”
“He’s a man. He’ll find a wife. She’ll do the cooking just like you’ll cook for your husband.”
“You’re being sexist mum!”
“Huh? What are you talking about being sexy…”

“Encourage your sister to get married.”
“Mum, she’s only 24 years old.”
“Exactly, shes 24! She’s getting so old. I’m so embarrassed. All your cousins her age are married. I feel so ashamed.”
“She wants to focus on her career. She wants to make money. Just because our cousins decided to stick to the traditional asian route and have kids before 24 years old doesn’t mean everyone is like that.”
“No one will stop her from working. She can be married AND work. She can choose a nice, modern man and they can both work. I understand it’s expensive living in London and paying for bills and everything.”
“Yeah, but look at all of our cousins who got married. They all swore that they would continue working but they all fell pregnant within a year of marriage and stopped working.”
“That’s not my fault. I think it would be good if they worked.”
“Mum, you need to back off. Let her choose when she wants to get married. It’s her life and her choice. She wants to make something for herself. If she was a boy you would’ve been so proud of her but because she’s a GIRL the only thing on your ind is marriage!”
*Stomps up the stairs*

“Mum…don’t shout. But we’re going abroad next week. It’s only for a week.”
“Again? You went last year!”
“It’s a new year now and it’s summer AND it’s not like I’m asking you or dad for money.”
“Why has God given me daughters who are like men?”

It’s so disheartening when your own mother has sexist views. I have to remind myself that she was brought up this way and this is all she knows. It’s up to the new generation of young asian women and women in general to change these types of views and push the boundaries. Talk to young girls, let them know that there’s more to life than a husband and popping out a couple of kids. Go travelling, post it all over your social media, get married late and let people know that you couldn’t give a shxt about their opinions, pursue a career that you love and spend your money in whatever way you like, and last but not least find a man who is happy to share the household chores equally with you 😉

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